Altered
Another weekend coming and going, suddenly we're entering the fourth quarter of the year.
Emboldened by my previous attempts at making custom tokens and having gained more experience with acrylic markers in general, I started making card alters. Granted, I've been only practicing on basic lands so far, painting over the card art and textboxes, adding flourished borders. People using markers tend to extend the art to span the full height of the card, it seems, and for a good reason. It's really hard to paint at that size. My first couple cards turned really scrawly because I used my usual nibs while the space demanded smaller ones.
Before Secret Lair Drops soured me on customs, I really enjoyed seeing what crazy personalization people poured into their favorite decks. I suppose it's nice that people can buy alternate arts they like with $29.99 provided they live in continental US and a few select countries? I guess? It's one of many things I find hard to enjoy after the big corpo got dibs of the scene. I don't know.
My alters came out quite janky, but for some reason they made me smile. I stared at them a lot, laid out to dry by the side of my working desk. They were plain basic lands. I slathered paint over them, and now they are something else. Making something is the closest I get to feel wielding magic. I used to admire people's handpainted alters. The process of recognizing that I have turned from looking to trying is an anchor keeping me on earth.
I have built myself a cozy studio and now I'll bleed myself trying to keep lights on. It's surreal, sometimes, my consciousness floating from afar, this avatar of mine moving across the screen, executing string of actions I only half-recognize. I never enjoyed The Sims past house design and room decor.
Fighting for the sliver of light and joy we can still have.