Brave New World
Thanks to the generosity of my lovely friends, I came into possession of not just a pen tablet but also a one-year subscription of Clip Studio Paint. While my friends have been sweet about this, sending it without any expectation that I would make use of it (more a "it's there if you feel like trying your hands at doing it"), I have been plagued by the thoughts that I really ought to start learning digital art. While I can, you know? Afterall, the subscription does not last forever. And I really don't want this gift to go to waste. Besides, I really do want to try the program, which was why I was gifted the subscription in the first place.
But then what's stopping me?
Fear. It always comes down to fear.
I have somewhat made peace with imperfection doing traditional art because as reversible the process is, there is always a point of no return where you just let the medium does its thing. Digital art lets me overcomplicate myself. Undo button, layers. It always feels like I haven't done enough, that I could push it further.
And I'm a tinkerer at heart. I cover my inadequacies by MacGyvering tools and nonsense, so opening a new art program almost immediately gives the brain lizard a delight. Look at how many buttons I can push to customize this space and the workflow.
But the biggest problem I have is I dislike the feel of the pen tablet. A brush or a pen gives me tactile feedback. I know how they would behave. I don't have to guess and aim a spot only to miss the mark by a wide margin. I just couldn't get the hang of it, but it's also a problem of familiarity and the less I use the thing the longer it will take for me to get used to it. I suppose it's like my hang-ups with electric stoves. I cannot see the fire, so I can't rely on my instincts. It feels all off.
I suppose eventually I'll get over this and open the program and just start playing around. I may have to banish the arbitrary deadlines from my head. I'll be ready when I'm ready, and it's fine if I prefer doing things traditionally for now.
As far as Inktober goes I have managed to draw every other day, roughly. The second half of the month was spent on not drawing/painting finished pieces, though. I decided to take the moment inbetween sketchbooks to use up yet another old notebook with drawing exercises from Drawing from the Right Side of the Brain. I should probably retry these exercises in blank notebooks, because my old schoolnotes were lined and therefore did not help me learn to estimate lengths and distances by eyes.