Insecurity Hinders Your Growth
For better or worse, I seem to be surrounded by exceptional people. In turn, everyone around me feel like they too are surrounded by exceptional people. We were reared with the promise of talents, talk of potentials, of brilliant futures. Then we grow up and have to navigate the world in which we are, surprise, not so special.
But people around me are actually pretty damn amazing, still. Everyone I know are multilingual, many of them practice more than one kind of artform. This means insecurity is one of the biggest killer literally and figuratively, as they struggle to measure their own achievements and progresses, trying harder and harder against the mounting sacrifice of physical and mental health. Or quit entirely. Self-loathing is prevalent, a deep spiral into madness.
Anyone dabbling in art (or any kind of learning, really) may be familiar with this. You reach the intermediate stage, no longer new, perhaps even comfortable enough to make impressive things from time to time, but you reach a plateau. You can no longer progress on your own. You ask around for feedbacks and advices. You take each critique to heart.
But whenever anyone say you're good, you dismiss them as being kind/polite and reply either silently or loudly, "Thank you, but this isn't good, actually."
At best, this response costs you a valuable insight. Targeted practice often yields better results, so knowing where you're good enough means you can devote time to focus on where you're still lacking. By rebuffing this, you'll keep flailing trying to improve "everything", a nebulous torturous road to take, often circling back to itself. You may still manage to level up given enough time and effort, but likely with considerable heartache along the way.
At worst, it's dismissive of anyone you sought advice from (even if it may not be your intention). Why bother asking if you're not going to listen? If giving feedbacks to you mean having to couch the reply in ways you can accept, people will probably tire of you fast (especially if they aren't situated or trained to respond that way, e.g asking a random friend not equipped to teach or mentor). The most insidious place to be? Where you are desperate for attention, asking just about anyone to look at your creations, but whenever you have a positive interaction you think their opinions aren't worth considering, because they aren't "high-profile enough". Oh, these randos know nothing, they wouldn't say that if they'd known X, Y, and Z.
A popular zen koan, repeated in endless self-help book yet no less true, tells the story of a monk, a trainee, and a cup of tea. Before the trainee, the monk poured tea into the cup until it overflowed, and poured more still. At last the trainee couldn't bear it anymore, and stopped the monk.
To learn, one must first empty their cup.
Sometimes, that means learning to accept praises.
Sometimes, that means telling yourself "it's not good enough" is getting you nowhere.
Sometimes, that means recognizing that the wall of self-loathing and insecurity is preventing your growth.