Mistress Mary Quite Contrary
Every once in a while, you'll encounter a particular stretch of time where nothing seems to work right, the world itself is sullen, and the general unrest seeps into the atmosphere, permeating every inch of your household. You are cross, your partner could sense something is wrong but can't figure out what so they're also cross (or the other way around), everyone else picks up the bad vibes and becomes uncomfortable as well. It's a chain reaction that can feel suffocating, especially if most individuals involved have anger and communication issues.
To restore balance, someone must give. To be self-aware and deal with the touchiness, to give grace, to pick each other up. Whoever regains their footings first. And this requires both sides not to keep score against each other, as sometimes certain side might feel like they yield more often compared to their partner.
I know all of this theoretically, but practicing it in real life is a tough act. To remind yourself that this is not about winning (there's not even a real argument to fight for), to try being mature about this, to think rationally when you're mentally (sometimes physically) exhausted is difficult. My brain wants to hurl scathing remarks, every word chosen to maximize the impact. To hurt. Telling me that I don't have to suppress an emotion. That I'm justified in chasing the satisfaction (of what?).
Often there's nothing to blame directly. Someone had a bad day, the government being particularly awful, an unfortunate news hit the air. Things outside the control of all parties involved in this domestic tension. Home feels oppressive for no reason.
I was so bad at this. Tried everything from writing letters to everyone I found annoying and tuck them in the drawer, giving myself timeouts and telling my brain it could yell all it wanted after half a day had passed, out for a cup of tea, distancing myself from my usual people for a while for a change of pace... and they somewhat worked. I got better, though I am still on the hook for many apology tours several times a year.
Sometimes, the situation restores itself just as suddenly. Someone had a good day, something good happened. All was right in the world once more. To navigate ups and downs in life together with other people is to not keep tabs and let resentment foment, I suppose. Someone once said a good life is a string of good days, but I think a good life can also be a string of good and bad days, well handled.